3:29 P.M.
I have not been in a good mood at all today. I have been feeling extremely irritable because it is holding up completely. There has not been one thing taking place here for hours - only 16 quakes over the last day. It is at a major low today. I have also been in some pain. I have to confess something that I have been ashamed of. Whenever it is like this, especially when there is nothing going on anywhere else on top of that, I'm pissed off at the world. I'm just angry. I get out of control with my anger too.
It is not because I'm essentially bored. I know it when it is not active at all. Especially when it stays so quiet for a period of time or when there isn't enough energy being released, it affects my mood. I become angry and depressed. It is horrible. I have violent outbursts when I'm alone. Every little thing irritates me. I just want to bite someone's head off! I'm very much a powder keg. It is not fun having to express this, but I know that I have to be open and honest.
I'm not always like this when it is quiet. After there has been a lot of activity recently, I feel fine. But whenever there has not been any major activity going on anywhere in the world for a long time or no signs of it acting up even a little in my area for a while, I lose my mind. I feel like my brain is swelling up and I'm trapped. I scream, shout, and pound on the walls at times. Again, I would only have fits of rage whenever I'm by myself. It is torturous whenever I'm in some pain and feeling like I have a fever as it feels like a lot more could start up at anytime, but there are still no signs of acting up whatsoever.
I had to come forward about this sooner or later. I'm under an anonymous name at this point, so it is safe.
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