March 30, 2021

 Since late yesterday afternoon or the early evening, I was suddenly hit with a major depressive spell. I was thinking getting a good night's sleep would help, but I woke up this morning still feeling horrible. I'm aware that my menstrual flow is due around Sunday, so that must have something to do with it. There has also been a lack of earthquake activity everywhere over the past week. It is most likely a combination of those two things and the effects of this move. I was trying so hard to be okay and not miss the life I had before too much. I tried telling myself that my life was not perfect and there is not a lot of seismic activity I'm missing out on now. It is still hard. It is very frightening suddenly being uprooted from a place you have grown so familiar with and attached to, knowing the surrounding areas and their energy intimately, thrown into a completely different environment. It is very uncomfortable and I have felt totally lost, not knowing where to pick up from. I hate to be not okay. I don't feel like I'm fitting in with the crowd here and being around family can be very stressful and uncomfortable. At the same time, I'm glad everyone is being understanding and not pushing things on me and giving me space. I'm afraid that this move may have hurt me physically. It almost feels like something has been cut off or thrown seriously out of whack. I have been having foot and leg problems lately. I woke up a few times almost screaming in agony from severe pain in my calves. I feared I may have blood clots as they are tender and sore at times. I at least want to believe that connection to Southern California is not gone. I want to be in touch in case something happens there. I have felt mild symptoms when there would be a small flare-up of activity over there. I felt more pain in my side the other day when there were some more signs of it acting up around the world. I may have felt some pain from more activity in Oklahoma as I made physical contact with that area - We drove through there on the way. However, I'm not sure yet. It is still all new to me. I noticed that I am just now starting to feel a little better. I have felt some mild pain deep in my left side as well. I will just wait and see what happens later on.